May 3-4, 2008

They said the sun would come out today, but with the errands and such that I must do this morning I will not have time to truly ride until Sunday. I still take advantage as much as I can and manage to get in about 55 miles between meetings, food shopping, cleaning, baking, hair appointment, stopping by two different motorcycle shops, and my 3+ hour walk.

During this hectic day I experience a few things I will share. My morning starts with a hard workout, while baking banana muffins (thank goodness I know how to cook with money in short supply baking rather then buying saves tons of money), then cleaning and off to a meeting. I am told by one of the guys I know that his wife and he saw me the other day in Kirkland, the story goes something like this. He was driving through Kirkland near the library when his wife said “Wow look at that girls legs, they are so toned.” He replied “That’s Rachel.” Amazing how not a single man will look my way but heterosexual women seem to notice me all the time (sorry folks I have to admit I have never been approached by a gay woman).

Next off to the hair dresser where I swap Passover Matzo recipes with the woman in the chair next to me. I had considered Matzo S’moresbut never tried it I guess her family did this year and loved them, perhaps next year. I discussed bikes with a man waiting for the barber, and finally talked about the client before me with my hairdresser who was a little taken aback that the man tried to get her to join his Mormon Church, though she had been doing his hair for years and he had never mentioned it before.

Off to the Kawi shop to pick up oil and a filter. Scott made a comment about my blue hands and how cold I was; typical for a 100 lb girl on a 400 lb bike in 40 degree cold even with the heated gear. The over to the Duc shop to do the same. As I waited for my filter a male client at the counter tried to tell me how to pay and not to wait, I looked at him and just wanted to scream – I may be a girl but I know what I am doing! – I stayed polite and calm, and in no uncertain terms told him that I had been riding for sometime and that the shop sponsored me. He laughed nervously but let me be after that. It still amazes me to this day how many people in mc shops see a girl/woman and just assume she doesn’t know diddly squat.

Back home it is time to head out for my walk. I am so happy this weekend I have nothing pre-planned just me all weekend, well other then my hair appointment and all my chores and errands, but no volunteer stuff, no work, no one to entertain, just me. I turn on NPR and proceed to laugh out loud to myself in a manner I have noted before probably makes people think I am crazy, ah well. I am intensely listening to a story when a man comes up behind me and says “Hey” I jump and let out a little shriek. He is embarrassed but continues on handing me a pamphlet about meditation and tells me I should come to the meeting. I nod and thank him, as I walk away thinking I don’t need someone to teach me to meditate that is exactly what I was just doing, so intensely he scared me, and it is what I do every time I get on my bike, or go for a run, or workout, how much more could I possibly need! And I certainly don’t need to pay for someone to teach me.

Finally, done with my walk I am exhausted and cold. I walked much further then I had originally planned but I just didn’t want to stop, shorts weather and all. Even with the harsh walk sleep was not forthcoming, the smell from my landlords unit was too strong so all thoughts of a restful sleep until 2:30 am went out the door and I gave up about 1:30.

Up too early and gas prices now at $4.20 a gallon around here, I knew I could not head out too soon, so instead I did another extra hard workout, baked more, cleaned more, etc, before finally giving up at 5:30 am and heading out.

I had looked at the weather and today was to be gorgeous, but I would need to be done in time to fake and bake and walk, not to mention with the price of gas what it is one or two tanks would be all I could afford. Training will be hard for the next couple of months, with money so tight it has truly become gas over food, thank goodness the heat is off for the most part at home right now, with the inside temps holding on at best at 55. I decided based on the weather and temperatures showing south was the direction to go. Down I-405 as quick as I could until reaching 169, I am not in any mood to do freeway riding, so I will do my best to stick to the back roads and secondary routes.

It is not too warm, but comfortable enough, my body and mind long for the heat of summer. I can sense my need to ride growing with every passing mile, I don’t need music, I just need the road and miles between me an d home and chores and working out and work. I take full advantage of my 4-1/2 hours to weave my way down through Black Diamond, into Buckley and out all the way to Eatonville, where my time and monetary constraints force me to turn back north, I still refuse to get on the freeway so I hit the same road home. I am so enjoying the view and the ride I don’t want to stop, so I take a road I am not overly familiar with Old Kapowsin and add a few more miles of heaven to an already pleasurable ride.

Now I am noticing the time and truly must start working my way home. I scoot up to Route 18 and then over the Snoqualmie Ridge, down by the falls, and into Fall City. I could hop on I-90 but I really don’t want to, so I waste some more time heading the long way into Redmond and then into Kirkland just in time to run to the market for some fruit and to fake and bake, before going home and starting on my walk.

The sun I can see and feel the sun, I am experiencing an emotion I have been lacking for months now pure joy and warmth! I am in my shorts and t-shirt walking and walking for hours and hours, I don’t want to stop but even my legs are giving out after all my working out and walking, so at almost 4 hours and 15 miles or so it is time to stop, cuddle up at home alone with Ugly Betty and Grey’s, a bowl of popcorn and my new heated blankie thanks to an extremely early b’day gift from my parents when my old one bit the dust. Yes even when it is 60+ outside I am still cold if I am not moving so my heated blankets will remain out well into summer.

Next weekend I have to work and rain is predicted, but I am contented for now.

April 25-26, 2008

There was no story for last week, the snow piled up to 10 inches just 20 miles from my house, my walk on Sunday was spent in the snow and hail, so I made it all of 5 miles the whole weekend. This weekend was to be different, I was determined and so was Mother Nature.

It really started on Friday, when the temperatures started to rise. I always am amazed when it comes to this time of year how my need to ride hits me like a ton of bricks. Just when I think I have gotten over my need to do endurance rides the itch starts, at first it is just a nagging sensation that plucks at my thoughts as I cruise to work. Then the temperatures rise and the sun comes up early and all of a sudden the highway reminds me of every highway I have been on, and the longing for that deathly sick feeling of hours spent on the road, the stench of my helmet after living in it for 48 hours, and need for a shower overwhelms me and I am done for; I will ride again some ridiculous distance and soon.

Last Friday on my way home I also realize that just when I think I have seen it all, or let’s say everything that people do in their cars, I see a new feat. That day a man was driving, with a woman in the passenger seat, with his left hand wrapped around something from a fast food restaurant, his right hand holding a cell phone to his ear, and some how managing to merge into my lane – of course not looking – all I could think was he must be steering with his knee. Why he didn’t have the woman handling the call, or why he could wait to eat his sandwich were beyond me all I knew was that I am glad I have spent years on the road judging drivers behaviors so I could anticipate his foolish driving.

Saturday comes and though I am very limited on my ride time this morning, due to chores and meeting for a children’s play at 10:30 am I am determined to get in a ride no matter how short. I rise to temperatures almost at 40 and watch with trepidation as they quickly drop to 36 by the time I am done with my work out and some chores. I gear up knowing they will drop a bit more by the time the sun rises and sure enough they do, so I spend most my riding very cold and hoping that the temperatures predicted for later this afternoon will come to fruition.

I arrive home with a mere 76 miles in the saddle, but almost all of my errands complete, and plenty of time to gear down, warm up on the stationary bike and head out to the play. Today the weather will change for the better and by the time the play is done I am in my shorts, not warm but comfortable. I manage to get in almost 4 hours of walking in the glorious sunshine, not wanting to come in but fading fast, I even bicycle to the library to pick up a movie that has come in and a few books, before calling it a day. I arrive home to find for the first time in over 6 months my house is above 55 degrees, I will actually be warm for the first time since October in my house, I will not shiver at night, I can sit comfortably without gloves on my hands, perhaps spring and summer are really on their way. My hopes are on Sunday for a nice long ride though once again my time will be limited.

Sunday, and the temperatures have not dropped that much, at my house it is 48 and I am thrilled! I will still need to gear up as my plan is to head north, really north and then at some point find out if any of the tulips survived the snow last weekend. I check the weather over and over, for some reason the radar is showing rain, though the news channel is showing nothing, I am very confused but don’t waste too much time dwelling on it just gear up for the rain and head out. I scoot straight up I-5 watching the skies lighten, debating where to turn off, I am having too much fun to stop now and thus keep going all the way up to Bellingham. I have recently swung down Route 11 and though it is tempting to ride it again, it has been ages since I hit Route 20 so east I go. I will not get far I know only too well that the snow is still packed, but I am happy to be able to even make it to Route 9 with the winter we have had. I need gas and debate where to pull over, forgetting as I always do when I first start riding farther and farther in the new season how hard it is to find a bathroom in the sticks open 24 hours a day. Ah well, gas I can get but a bathroom will not come for a while, thank goodness I didn’t drink too much this morning.

I am enjoying the sights of the snow capped mountains, the road ahead of me without a car in sight; it seems like forever since I have been this way. I enjoy the farm land vistas, the eagle I see flying, I am on Route 9 heading south before I know it and comfortably cruising on a road I am all too familiar with. When I reach Sedro Wooley I stay strong and head into Mt Vernon then continue on toward La Conner so that I can find tulips. At first I am disappointed seeing only turned fields and thinking the snow must have ruined all that was left, when something moves me to take a road I don’t normally travel –wow right before my eyes acres of bright red and yellow. Now I am desperate there must be more left somewhere.

I take another road I have not travelled in too long and am rewarded as I pass by a field filled with magenta, red, pink and yellow tulips, a smile squeezes in my tight helmet and I am content. It is just a bit past the field that I remember why I don’t come this way the farms are close together the road is barely made for two cars, and the manure and mud piles every where along the road. The curves are 15 mph blinds which I hate, just when I thought I would make it without too much brew-ha a milk truck double long comes around the corner in my lane, well what would be considered a lane on a wide road, I can only thank goodness that I am not in a car but on a small bike that hardly takes up any room as the truck is moving well over the 25 mph speed limit. Finally, I come to the stop that leads me back to a much more comfortable riding road, which I will meander along all the ay back to Route 9 south.

I am not done I don’t want to be done but my time is running out, I need to be home by 10 am to get geared down and on my walk, so be it I am done with 230 miles under my belt, and the sun coming out with temperatures warm enough again for me to wear shorts, thank goodness my faith is restoring that I will be warm again soon.

April 12-13, 2008

I can feel it down deep, the promise of spring. I am wishing, hoping, begging that the weather forecast is correct and we will reach the 70’s today. I make good time working out, cleaning, shoving breakfast down my throat so I can get on the bike and ride It is not warm, but I know only too well if the forecasters are correct traffic will be miserable as soon as the sun comes up and I don’t want to be on the road when that happens.

I gear up for the cold, I looked at the maps and though it is slightly warmer south, my heart craves the wilds of the north. The maps show no rain but temperatures slightly below 40 before the sun comes up means that they will drop at least 5 degrees before they start upward again, and I have not been warm since sometime in October so I take no chances.

I fill the duc up with gas, cringing as I watch the $4.00 per gallon tick away, wondering how I will ever afford to ride this summer, it has truly become a battle between riding and food and heat, and though in my heart I miss my baby every waking moment I can’t imagine having the cost of her food, litter and vet bills on top of all the life expenses I have just to survive in this economy where every item we need to survive is costing more and more each day and the predictions are growing worse.

I take a deep breath and put my visa in the slot, telling myself it is cheaper then a shrink, but not by much these days. Then I am off at exactly 5 am. It is dark so I stay on the freeway, careful without my radar detector to make sure my speeds are well within the acceptable range, knowing the police love this time of day and I know where they hide, though even I catch a few in some new spots, that I store in my memory banks for future rides. I know I-5 too well to care about the sights in the dark, so my music soothes my soul as I think back over the crazy busy week at work, relationships or lack of, and the two books I have read through without pause the last few weeks.

The first book I was so enthralled with I literally read it in less then 24 hours then proceeded to give it to another I thought would truly appreciate it “Hungry Lessons Learned.” The author wrote it in short story mode making it easy to get through and fascinating. The second book was not so easy for me to get through “Confessions of a Carb Queen,” but I would beg everyone to read it whether fat or thin, the author lays every painful memory, every horrific experience, and her eventual road to recovery in a way I have never experienced before. At times it was so painful for me to read I had to put it down, lest I start to cry at work, and at other times I couldn’t put it down reading well past my bedtime trying to get to a part were she might find happiness or at least a solution. I emphasized with her at times, and was disgusted and angry at others. She reinforced everything that scares me about gaining weight tenfold; perfect for one who struggles every day to make sure I am at a healthy weight, and getting older is not helping at all.

These two books came crashing together in my head as I am already a people watcher, when I noticed a junior high child leaving the grocery store already obese walking and eating a bag of cookies, and carrying a shopping bag filled with more junk. I wanted to cry for this child, I wanted to scream at his parents, how could they let him do this? But it is not for me to fix or do anything about, though I wish obesity was considered abuse when it comes to children as it is if you think about the life long health issues and psychological issues, but this will never come to be just as my wish for people to need a license to have a child. Sounds awfully Draconian doesn’t it, but if you look at the statistics, or even just take a few minutes to look at the children in the market, in the mall or just walking down the street you would be dismayed.

Ah, now I am passing Mount Vernon and the skies are lightening a bit, which means I can stop dwelling on such depressing thoughts and concentrate instead on the glorious sunrise. I have until 9:30 am to ride, but then I need to be back in my neighborhood to fake and bake, run some errands and get to Kirkland to walk by 12:30 pm. I figure I have enough time to get up to Bellingham, and hit Route 11 along the water. There is absolutely no traffic so far and I am thrilled. I can see the deep blue purple outline of the mountains to my right and as I look ahead see the white cap of Mount Baker. The snow pack is so thick right now this may be the first time I have not been able to get over the pass until sometime in May. I reach Bellingham and all is quiet, very few are up at even this late hour for me. I ride through town to catch Route 11 wondering what the tide will be like and the view, it has been much of the winter since I was last up this way. As I ride the curves along Route 11 I remember how I hated this ride in my younger days, when riding was still new to me and blind curves and no guard rails would spook me. Now as I look out over the almost high tide toward Whidbey Island I am amazed how easy it is for me to do this route and how much I actually look forward to it, especially like today when I reach it early enough I do not see one other vehicle the whole time.

I notice home builders have been busy these last few months and there is quite a bit of new construction. These homes though offering a glorious view are not for me, living on a cliff scares me and if the driveway is to steep it is not good for riding. I pass a restaurant a friend took me many years ago and I recall how wonderful it was. Breaking free of the woodsy water front route I decide I have plenty of time to meander down the back way through Edison and Bow to La Conner to see if any of the tulips have come up.

I reach Route 20 after riding past fields and homes that my heart sings to occupy, scoot on to it ever so briefly before turning left to get gas and head on toward La Conner. I decide to chance a lesser octane at over 60,000 miles I figure what the hay I might as well try to save a little money. Quickly I am back on the road, seeing some green but no flowers yet. I notice a few photographers taking pictures of the beautiful old barns, but these barns do not compare to those I grew up near.

I don’t enter La Conner, too depressing as I have no one to spend the time with there, no reason to linger. I run the bike back out to the main drag still not seeing any flowers. It is not until much further up the road that I encounter a field filled with daffodils and though they are beautiful they are not nearly as exciting as the multi-color tulips will be.

I decide to avoid 5 back home, riding down toward Stanwood and Sylvania instead and hooking up with 530 to Route 9. Route 9 is nothing special this far south but at least it offers a little less freeway feel then 5. Traffic is now picking up but I am making really good time. At the intersection of Route 2 I take it to Monroe then east into Duvall before heading south toward Bothell and then into Redmond. By the time all is said and done I have put on well over 200 miles in 4 hours, giving me plenty of time to warm my bones on the stationary bike, put on my shorts as the temperatures have already risen well above 50 and head out to Kirkland.

My soul is finally starting to emerge with the thought that maybe just maybe I will be warm again soon. I crawl into bed that night not warm enough to be without the heat of my electric blanket but warm enough not to turn on the heat. I can not believe how quiet it is this time of year when the forced hot air is off, this wonderful silence falls in my home that soothes me, and I know though my rent is atrocious I can’t imagine being anywhere else listening to the noise created by loud people, or cars, etc, this is my little salvation in a world that is filled with too much noise.

I raise on Sunday knowing I had blown every penny yesterday on riding and today I could not find the means to ride again so instead I fill the day with meetings, cleaning and another 4 hour walk; at this rate my weight will stay very much where it should be for the summer when shorts and bikini tops come into season!

Wish for good weather for next Sunday, as Saturday I have to work.

April 5-6, 2008

Snow and freezing temperatures, what is going on! I had to ride the duc to work almost every day, thank goodness it was back from the shop with temperatures only reaching 30 for three of the mornings I thought I would never see warmth again. Luckily by Friday the temperatures hit 40 and I was having positive ride thoughts. Can you imagine getting excited because the temperatures reached 40, that is insane for this area.

Sure enough Saturday came and I had to meet someone first thing in the morning then do the hair thing, believe me my hair was so bad I wanted to just leave my helmet on all day! So riding any where was out of the question, though I knew in my heart this was to be the better of the two days I didn’t have a choice. I managed to get in a measly 50 miles by the time I made it home for my walk. I was so chilled from what time I did spend on the bike, once again the stationary bike was put to good use.

I could not tell what the weather was going to do so I packed waterproof pants and a hat, but hated to gear up too much, the calendar says April why does it feel like November! The wind was blowing so my hands were beyond painful, though I did keep my winter mittens on with hothands held tight, I just was not getting warm. I wandered the streets up and around all over town for over 3 hours, stopping briefly in the library to pick up a movie and book I had requested.

My thoughts have been filled with self doubt and pity, yes my own little pity party in my head; the been here 15 years and don’t have a friend to my name little pity party I hold ever so often. This time it really wasn’t bugging me too much, work was so stressful that the quiet time I spent walking was pure heaven. I loved the smells of spring, the flowers blooming, the silly stories I listened to on NPR Prairie Home Companion, wow they had Brad Paisley singing the silliest song about putting the toilet seat down, how could I not laugh.

I used to worry that people would think I was insane when I talked to myself aloud in the market or laughed aloud while walking listening to the stories on NPR, but over 2 years of being completely alone and I gave up caring any more, so be it if I am to be alone forever talking to myself will have to suffice for human conversation.

Sunday, no chores to do I had managed to stay on top of them all week, due to the stresses of work I was getting up even earlier then normal so I had plenty of time on my hands each morning. Instead I knew I could get in a ride before going to a meeting, though I debated the meeting as I need to start increasing my mileage to get in great shape for the ride in June (don’t ask won’t tell). I had already started to up my weight training, I am thinking I might even have to buy heavier dumbbells soon to push even harder, age makes it harder and harder to stay in shape.

The weather was dark and rainy, so I figured I would get in 40-50 miles then hit the meeting then head out again. I rode just freeway not wanting to do back roads in the dark rain, straight down 405 up 5 and back across I-90, nothing but peace and contentment to be on the duc riding.

At 7 am I was back out and the sun was up, well if you could say that, more like a light gray with occasional drizzle and huge gusts of wind. I scooted up 405 to 5, then in Everett swung onto Route 2, I did not have much time to ride as I needed to be home by 10 am to start my walk. I was truly enjoying my ride not a care in the world, other then gas prices, and I could hear the Dixie Chicks blaring over my headset now that I had the little amplifier up and running. In Monroe I stopped for gas, it is amazing in my town how inflated the gas prices are, especially when I notice in Monroe they are .20 less! I take 202 out of town through Duvall, Carnation and into Fall City, there has been little to no traffic until I pass through Carnation where a bike ride of some sort is in full swing, causing all kinds of issues with cages on the road freaking out. I don’t blame them, I will never understand why bicyclists think they own the road, when I rode back and forth to work I always did my best to follow traffic signals and stay out of the way of traffic, these folks ride up the middle or do weird swerves so you never know what to expect. I swing by easily as I take up not much more room then they do, but cages are not so lucky.

I decide heading out to North Bend probably is not a good idea, or heading back around to Redmond, as when I reach Fall City I can’t tell which way the bike ride is going and soon enough people will be heading to church, thus causing even more issues between car and bike. So I head out the back way to I-90, figuring I would finish up my food shopping and head home with plenty of time to ride the stationary bike to try and warm up and then head out for my walk.

I can not believe this same time last year I was wearing shorts, and now I am still bundled in my winter coat and leggings as I head out the door on my walk, winter mittens on my hands which are blue from cold, trying not to shake too much but loosing the battle every day, I hate to even consider what my electric bill will look like this month even with the heat set now at 45-48 when I am not home and 55 when I am home, with the occasion up tick to 57. I am diligent about turning off unused lights, but none of that helped last week when I returned home to hear the heat running downstairs, I belittled myself for forgetting to turn it down when I left in the morning, no such luck it had dipped to 45 and was tripped on all by it’s self!

I just read an article about food prices increasing, cereal by 9% just since September, how more and more people are going to food banks to get groceries so that they have money to pay for gas and housing. I can completely understand all this. I am reading articles about people making their own bread to try and save money, that there is no end in sight. I guess all we can do is hunker down for the long haul and make due where we can.

As my walk winds down I end at the elderly facility where I am to meet with a woman who needs a little visit from time to time, I am pleased to know that I may actually make someone in need smile even if it is just for a short time. I get only a half hour of her time before she becomes to tired, not the first person I have had that effect on. I tell her not to worry I will see her next week same time as I hug her and head out figuring I will get another 45 minutes of a walk in.

I think about all my walking and can not imagine a time when I did not walk or was not able to walk for hours. I have tried to get others to walk with me and have been hard pressed, it is strange for me to imagine someone desiring to sit at home in front of the tv or computer, rather then being out side enjoying all the sights and sounds that fill their surroundings, but I am learning to accept other peoples beliefs and ways.

I am hoping for the best over the coming weekend that I might actually be able to get in a decent ride, though I have to say the 140 miles I put on Sunday was definitely wonderful.

March 22-29, 2008

My emotions shoot through me, the loneliness envelops me entirely, my ride plans nixed and not a friend or family member in sight. I started last Saturday with my last day at the mission it was a hard decision for me to make but time and time again I was forced to work with people who didn’t want to be there simply to do something for others, they came without smiles, without goodness in their souls and it was bringing me down further and further. I realized after much deliberation that I needed to find an opportunity that I might be more responsible for my giving and that those I gave to would be more directly effected by my desires to help not because I had to but because I have so much love to give and I want to give it.

My decision to move on to another opportunity was reinforced when two gentleman showed up who were not on the schedule, a half hour late. They proceeded to barely keep up, one man was so stingy about giving out the oatmeal we were forced to throw out an entire pan, though I asked him no less then four times to put more on the tray. The two gentlemen then quickly whipped off their aprons right and 8:30 am and tried to bolt out the door without helping to clean up. I stopped them in their tracks, no I must say I was not overly polite in doing so but I could not imagine that people could be so heartless as to come late and leave early, leaving a mess they created for others to clean up!

The knowledge that it was warm enough for me to ride for a few hours was the only thing that kept my spirits up, but even that didn’t last long. I noticed my chain seemed loose so I swung by the dealer to have them tighten it up for me only to find it was not loose at all but had a major tight spot and upon discussions with the mechanic decided riding was out of the question; there went all that was keeping my spirits up. Eastside as always was kind enough to provide me a ride home, which gave me plenty of time to walk and clean again.

Sunday and my spirits could not be raised, I found myself in a situation that I had never imagined in my wildest dreams I would be in, not one person to attend a movie with me. I have issues with attending a movie alone and until today had managed to find someone to come along but for the first time in my 42 years I was truly alone, I was so alone I could not find one person to attend a movie with me. I know people who have no trouble attending movies alone, but I would ask them if they would be so thrilled to attend a movie alone if they knew they did not have the option to go alone? It is truly one of the loneliest feelings you could experience, next to not having any one to help you when you are ill which I have also experienced.

I decided I could not imagine not seeing Horton in the theater, so I decided to try my best to go. I started my day working out hard, cleaning the house over and over or so it seemed just trying to stay warm. Then I headed out for a cold rainy day walk. As I walked I thought of how alone I was but also how grateful I was for all that I do have. I tried to be positive and to not dwell too long on my predicament. As I neared the theater I almost turned back and if I had to pay for the ticket I would have, but I had a movie pass so technically the movie was free, this bolstered my ability to go in, as I could always leave if I couldn’t stand being alone. It was Easter Sunday so the theater at 12 pm was almost completely empty; I think this made it easier for me to be there. I noticed a man alone and another woman alone, I debated asking the man if I could just sit next to him, but he ignored my “good pick” comment when he chose to attend Horton as well; see I am not not trying!

I decided to put a smile on my face and pick the seat I wanted, full middle, one good thing about being alone in an empty theater you do not have to compromise with others on where to sit. I was doing ok until about ¾ of way into the movie when I was so tired of holding my tongue, not that I talk a lot during movies but I couldn’t even nudge or point out the stuff I was enjoying to anyone. I forced myself to remain in my seat until the end, but am not sure I could or would be able to do this again, it is so depressing.

The week proceeded to pull me down, the weather here has been horrible, cold barely above freezing, snowing even – on Friday I left work a little early as it had been snowing all day and I was on the bike, my boss was practically kicking me out the door. Adding to my bummed out mood was the fact that the day my duc was to arrive home it didn’t, then the next day still no bike, to the point I was riding the ninja no-heat every morning in temperatures reaching only 34! Do you have any idea what that feels like, don’t ask the pain of the cold is excruciating, and I have begun to wonder as I sit here writing if I will ever be warm again, two long john layers on and polar fleece and I am still shaking.

Today I am to work at the shop and the bike is finally back home but it is to snow again this morning! I will try to make the best of my time alone, but I am also still hoping with all my heart that the day will come I will find a friend if not a companion, I never imagined that I would reach this point no kitty to spend time with, not a friend or family member to be found, ah so be it I have my bikes, a roof over my head and a great job.

March 15-16, 2008

Cold, it isn’t supposed to be this cold right now. And raining yuck. I will make do as best I can with cleaning and working out but I just can’t seem to get warm any more. I rush out the door to a meeting I have before a getting in what little I can of riding only 30 miles, not that I am truly interested in riding in the less then 40 degree pouring rain. I guess I am getting old or wimpy I don’t know, but I do know when it cost me over $10 to fill up the tank this morning reality truly sunk in. At $3.999 a gallon (basically $4) I truly have to weigh the decision to ride or eat, and right now eating less isn’t an option I just don’t think I could subsist on less, and I know what I am eating now is as cheap as I can find; even my sister can’t believe I eat meat that only costs a $1-2 a pound, sometimes truthfully neither can I.

I try desperately to warm up, riding the stationary bike hard to no avail, my fingers are pure white from the Raynauds and the pain is excruciating, I have managed to stave off this pain for most of the winter but today my system is not fighting it well and I must get going to my second job, so I ignore the pain and start my walk to the shop, in the rain. I arrive but can’t find Dave so I pick up the sheets I am to work from and start to weed through them looking for duplicates so that I don’t call the same people twice. Dave arrives and we go over a few things, including a story about some one who blamed a scratch on the shop. I don’t understand this at all, it is a motorcycle a scratch can come simply from riding it on the street behind an 18 wheeler throwing up gravel! People amaze me if you don’t want your bike to get scratched leave it in the box, especially since just about every man I know has tipped his bike over in the garage, as well as on the street. Goodness just walking by it with your jacket on could scratch it, people are too attached to their things, which brings me to a sign I saw the other day in front of a church it just made my day “The best things in life aren’t things.”

Interesting that as I crawled into bed cold and weary, things are exactly what I was grateful for. I can only to vividly remember the almost two years I slept on the floor because the man I was living with refused to give up his water bed though I was unable to sleep in it. I remember too well the three days of no electricity a few winters ago, no hot water, no heat, no food other then from cans. How soon others forget how lucky we are to have beds and heat and roofs over our heads. I heard on NPR a gentleman who had been in Iraq speaking about his experience here in the US sitting in a Starbucks; as he looked around he realized no one even thought twice about those abroad fighting. I have to say he couldn’t be more wrong in my regard, as every day I think about it and it hurts me. I mentioned this to my mother and she too thinks on it as I do and like the man interviewed reads the death toll lists. I thanked her for not hiding Vietnam from my sister and me, but instead involving us by showing us her bracelet with a soldiers name on it and the excitement we shared when he came home. I truly believe this experience made me much more aware of what war means to our citizens, not only those who fight but those they leave behind (ah but I am getting far to political here). Again I will never forget how much I appreciate what I do have, though at times I might want more I will try to stop myself and be grateful.

Leaving the shop I found the skies dry and knew that I would be totting quite the load by the time I was finished with my walk of gear removed, no complaints here sun I will take any day of the week! I managed to get in a glorious 3 plus hour walk, though I never did gear down much it was just too cold and the threat of rain was ever present.

Sunday and I didn’t think the weather could get worse, it wasn’t supposed to it was actually supposed to clear, no such luck I can hear the rain pounding outside and I am dreading riding any where but with gas at $4 I am not willing to get the truck out until I need to do a food shopping I can’t do on the bike. I figure a nice hard workout followed by more cleaning will waste a few hours and it does, then I figure I will waste one more meeting up with some other early morning folks, before braving the elements and riding.

The skies were free of rain as I headed out at 7am, but dark with the change in the clock. I decided to head north, and then figured eventually I would head east and south, not sure with the temperatures not even at 40 how far north I would dare to go until I got there. Arriving just south of Everett and I decide it is much too cold and start east. I reach route 9 and dare to brave heading east, though not necessarily the best decision as the closer I got to the mountains the colder it would be.

Now it is light but still overcast, I am very pleased though as helmetaudio.com has supplied me with a replacement for my missing volume control wire, and I have bucked up and bought a Boostaroo – I must stay if you don’t have one get one now! These two items rock! The Boostaroo allows you to hear your music as it is a mini-amplifier and the volume control wire between the headset and Boostaroo makes for easy volume control when your raise or slow your speed. I can finally hear my music clearly! I just can’t believe it this is too cool.

I start to notice as I reach Monroe that the snow level is really low, and nix the idea of heading out to North Bend, instead I wind my way out to Fall City then again west toward Redmond. I can feel the cold chilling my bones but I can’t stop today is the only day I have and not much time at that as I need to get to the fake and bake today to try to boost my spirits and stave off SADD. Reaching Redmond I turn south again along Lake Sammamish, into Issaquah. The roads are still fairly traffic free, most likely the weather is keeping folks either home or hitting the slopes for skiing. Down Issaquah-Hobart road all the way to Covington, where I meander down roads I travel so infrequently that I am not sure where I will end up but figure I will get home eventually.

Finally, making my way into Renton and back up onto 167 due North, it is time for me to fake and bake, I can only hope this will warm me some. The sun is desperately trying to break free and shines brightly at times as I head into Kirkland. I must say gearing down for 10 minutes of pretend sun and then gearing back up is pretty silly, but I can’t afford to take the truck out of the garage with gas prices what they are so be it.

Done and home for a snack before heading out on my walk, I try again to warm up on the stationary bike without any luck, so head out shaking and cold. By the end of my 3 plus hour walk I am not warm but at least I am not shaking, and again I am grateful for my warm home, though at 55 degrees I am not sure others would call that warm I have been able to lower my electric bill by almost half from last year.

I know next weekend weather predictions are worse then this weekend, so I can only hope that soon true spring and summer will arrive and I will once again be able to feel gratitude for the sweat that will drench me under all my gear – for this you won’t hear me complain.

March 8-9, 2008

Riding was most definitely out on Saturday, though I did manage to ride to the shelter for my volunteer work, I had too many chores to do to truly get in a good ride. Arriving at the mission I knew I was to be joined by others, one I had worked with before a nice man who enjoyed giving back and is a hard worker, the other two I did not know. Greeted by the chef and crew I was on task to start working with the gentleman showing up not long after me. The two girls showed up ½ an hour late, obviously not in the mood to volunteer; only later did I find out they had been out all night and arrived with just 2 hours of sleep.

It was obvious from the start the two girls were not here for the right reasons, and within an hour one disappeared to the bathroom, returning 15 minutes later pale as a ghost saying she didn’t feel good, off they went. I learned that they had just come to fulfill the need for hours – meaning community service. I am not against community service, but please if you don’t want to do it, don’t! Their lack of enthusiasm and work ethic brought us all down and didn’t make those in the line feel any better either. I was more then happy when they left and we could get the job done without their less then positive attitude, but it also made question my own fortitude and if this is really worth it.

I started to doubt my volunteering and if it really was making any kind of difference. The more I thought on it as I walked that afternoon the less I felt I was, and I started to wonder if there was some other way for me to give back that would have a larger effect on someone or something. I was counseled later in the week to give it a few more tries before jumping ship, and I agree perhaps the last two events just were a blow to my belief that giving back is important to all no matter how little of a true effect you have.

Sunday and I finish up my chores, to get to an early meeting before heading out for a ride. I can not tell what the weather is doing or will do but is it so cold and my system is thrown completely off by the time change so I am not feeling very well. I have been working hard on my self and have hit a wall regarding appreciating who I am, I tried reaching out to those who seem to have this down and didn’t get the feedback I needed or was looking for so a ride was definitely needed.

My desire to ride north to La Conner overcame my cold shaking body. I flew up I-5 debating at every exit ramp whether to turn south as it got colder and colder, but I could not I needed to ride. I turned off at the Lake McMurray exit and head due west on the back roads toward La Conner. I know it is too early for the daffodils and tulips but just being on this road made my heart happy. I look up toward the trees where I have often seen the Eagles perched but they are not there, perhaps it is still too early, though the Snow Geese have come. I meander past the wonderful old homes and my mind wanders what stories they must hold in their walls. I have such a penchant for history and stories I wish I could enter each home and explore every nock and cranny, but these are not my homes and I doubt the residents would be thrilled to have me knock and ask to come in to explore like a child. Instead I must just imagine what secrets the homes hold, from the time they were built through the various generations and changes, the invention of electricity and then telephones, the first washer and dryer, even the first tv. I imagine the clothes of each period, laughing at my own memories of pink bell-bottom jeans, and punk hair do’s.

Finally, I reach La Conner, there is no reason for me stop I am a lone no one to share the wonderful town with there is no point. I move on toward Route 20, here I decide to cut up to Edison a small little town if you can even call it that where historical homes and buildings scream my name every time I ride through, one in particular with large windows I know has my name on it! I finally reach Route 11 but realize quickly heading any further north is not a possibility when I see the layer of dense fog and what looks like rain ahead, instead I ride back to I-5 south and cut off once again at Lake McMurray this time heading Southwest. Again the familiarity of the road feels like coming home, I make my way out to Route 9 south to Route 2, taking it due east. I know I can not take it beyond Monroe as the mountains are still well covered in snow.

In Monroe I cut on to 522 south, and in good time I have completed 180 miles of pure bliss, well almost if only it was warm then I would have been in total bliss.

Home again, I try desperately to warm up by using the stationary bike for over 20 minutes to no avail, finally giving up and heading out for my walk hoping that would warm me some. This time of year I just never know what the weather will do so I carry and wear various layers in hopes that I can either add or remove to stay at the right temperature, today proves very difficult as when in the sun I am warm but stepping into shade I get cold. I finally gear down to just my tights and a t-shirt, a little chilly but over all comfortable, except my back which now is over weighted by a heavy pack. As I work my way through town I pass a brick wall that I have photographed over the years; I miss taking pictures but the camera is too heavy for me to carry on my walks, film and developing hugely expensive, and no one to share them with – so be it. The wall calls out to me with its hidden beauty. I wonder if I am the only one who notices the incredible beauty of the craggily vines clinging to the brick. The analogy of the vines and their ugliness that I find so beautiful is perfect for what I have been experiencing lately, the beauty unseen or within that prevents others from being attracted to me or seeing me. I see the inner beauty, I know what beautiful leaves will soon cover the gray lumping vines, I am only too familiar with the lack of notice these vines are getting by passers-by now, it hurts me to think on this.

But think I must and am assaulted with it again when Tyra (yes I am still watching silly stuff to work out to) takes three sets of women, the first set feels put off by their friends, sisters, who they believe are much more beautiful, so Tyra sets both sets up to switch. She takes the “beautiful” group and makes them more like the “not-so beautiful” group, and vis verus, then sends them out to a mall and a mixer.

I adore shows like this when they make a point and it really works, this time it seemed to not only help the so-called “not-so-beautiful” see that they have beauty and the “beautiful” see what it is like to not be considered desirable. What hurts me though is that it took a makeup crew and fancy clothes before the men would notice the originally not beautiful woman, and the treatment of the beautiful turned not-so-beautiful. The men were literally fawning over the made up woman, but then when the others arrived one actually said in the mixer “what Halloween party are you dressed up for?” How can people be so cruel? Why is it expected that you must spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to look good to get attention? What about all the women and men out there that don’t have or are not so “pretty”? Like the craggily vines am I the only one that sees the inner beauty of those around me? Have I been tainted by my own “ugly duckling” self that I appreciate the not-so-beautiful? Perhaps everyone should be forced to have these experiences so that they will re-evaluate their opinions – of course just a few weeks ago none of this made any difference to the very obese man on the Tyra show calling an obese woman unattractive and not someone he would date as only he should have trouble fitting in a chair!

It appears I have had much too much time to think lately and really need ride season back. None of my over thinking was much help at all when I had to take an entire day off to go to all my dr’s appointments. My gyn actually said she wanted me dating the next time I came in, hello does she think I haven’t tried? Perhaps she like me can see past the not-so-pretty to my heart and can not see that men obviously do not/can not/or choose not to. All I could do was laugh so that I would not cry, now at just under 2 years and 6 months of singledom….smile

To ride ah to ride, my kingdom to ride…..not Saturday coming I have to work, but maybe Sunday?

March 1-2, 2008

I can’t believe it is March, even with the extra day this year is already in full swing and I can’t seem to keep up. I think it is the hours and hours I am spending at the office, doing chores, errands, second job, and volunteer work. Then again it is probably for the best that I am staying so busy with gas prices so high I can barely afford a decent ride staying busy doing anything that doesn’t require gas is for the best.

Before I get into the weekend I just have to lament for a bit on something completely benign; self flushing toilets. I know, I know, how silly is that, but really folks it is driving me bonkers! Perhaps the men out there can’t relate but I am sure all the women who read this and have encountered them are just as aggravated as I am. I understand the reasoning behind them, less touching of items that carry germs – don’t get me wrong I am all for that being the germaphobe I am, but seriously what is the point when they flush before you are done or even sit down?

It was not until I started my current job that I would encounter these beasts every day several times a day. I tried each stall on my floor even some on other floors trying desperately to find one that actually worked or at least didn’t flush before I was done. I encountered some set to such a sensitive level they would flush before you even started and then of course having completed their duty would require the push of a button to flush when you were actually done, but not to be outdone would flush again when you opened the stall door to exit. I encountered toilets that would flush all by themselves, with no one in the stall at all! I encountered some that not only would not flush no matter how many times you waved your hand/butt in front of the infrared eye, but wouldn’t flush even if you pushed the button; oh but were all too happy to flush when you opened the stall door after giving up. I think the worst ones though are those that flush while you are in the midst of doing whatever you have come to do, spraying you liberally with toilet water –yuck!

I appreciate the invention of this monstrosity, but really what purpose do the serve? It is that hard to take a piece of toilet paper and push the lever? Or to use your foot as I was taught, if you don’t want to actually touch the lever? Have we become so lazy that we can’t even flush our own toilets, and instead would endure what I have described above just to avoid the lever? And environmentally friendly, I think not, how environmentally friendly is a toilet that flushes with no one around, or has to be flushed multiple times. Ok I am done – for now – next time maybe I will lament on the self dispensing paper towel machines or the self activating faucets.

Back to the weekend; riding on Saturday was out of the question due to the chores, errands and other miscellaneous stuff. My day started with cleaning, working out, and food shopping – the kind I do once a month that requires the truck, then the truck had to be at the shop at 7 am to have the studs removed, straight from there to the hairdressers, then off to fake and bake, making it home just in time to try to warm up on the stationary bike before heading out for my much needed walk.

I truly enjoy the time at the hairdresser now that I have no one to hang with as I have been seeing Mary for years and she knows all the good and bad of my stuff and me much of hers. She always checks in with me on the job, and love life – even when it is non-existent. Her other customers and I will banter too as what she does to make me look less then my upcoming 43 years takes time, while others scoot in and out. This Saturday I met a man I had not seen before, I guess he normally comes in during the week. Chatting I learned he had married a woman who was the love of his life, I guess she had seen him in a class and decided that he was the one. I was so enthralled and cheered by the story when he left I said to Mary, some day maybe that will happen to me. It is stories like his that boost my spirits and give me hope that perhaps someone will find me or me them, and for now that is all I can do hope and have faith.

As I walked on Saturday afternoon, I had plenty of time to look at the wildlife, in particular the budding trees, blooming crocus and even a few daffodils! Spring is so close yet so far it seems. I adore this time of year though when I know summer is coming and I will finally be warm, well let’s just hope I will be though last year I barely had time to warm up before it was cold again.

My whole body is filled with joy as I notice a tree covered with beautiful pink blossoms, this is what my dreams are made of, flowers on the ground and on the trees. I know some people like snow, some people like deserts, and on and on, but me the colors of flowers make my soul rejoice. It may be the artist in me that calls our to be free, and is often stifled by mundane, or maybe my dreamer itching to get out, who knows I just absorb the happiness and am grateful.

Sunday and I must ride, but it is so cold! I decide to hit a meeting though I am not sure I really want to before heading out hoping beyond hope that it will warm some. No such luck, I am riding in temperatures of about 36-38 and my body is not really enjoying it. I started shaking within the first 15 minutes but forced myself on, knowing the following weekend my schedule might be too busy for a long ride or what the weather might be like.

I scooted up 405 north with no particular goal in mind, though La Conner was calling to me the further north I got the colder it got so that was completely out of the question. Each week I seem to get a little closer though, as I didn’t turn off until 531. I enjoy the sights of riding “backwards” on a regular route, and the lack of traffic this early in the morning. I check out the new construction, farm animals covered with their winter coats make me smile and want to pet them. I ease up onto 9 and start south. I debate which direction to go and decide that I will ride inland a bit so cut off in Monroe and head south on 202 toward Carnation. Though cold I trudge on all the way into North Bend where I take the time to gas up before heading west again on 90. I see the ramp that caused me such trouble and still can’t take it, so I ride on jumping off in Issaquah to ride out and round just a bit more. I am starting to hurt now though the shaking is taking it’s toll and so once I reach 169 I head north again.

I have not seen any other bikers out today though during the week with our warming temperatures I have seen many finally getting out and about, that and the gas prices are probably causing the increase. As I ease into the drive I know I have pushed myself to hard today because of the cold as I am physically off from the shaking and am careful to walk the bike back slowly into the garage. Even 30 minutes on the stationary bike does not warm me so I am forced to head out for my 3-1/2 hour walk still cold, not to warm up until I finally get home to a shower. Summer can the heat it brings can not get here soon enough.

Right now the weather is looking less then promising for the weekend and Wednesday I was forced to ride the Ducati as it was only 29 degrees in the morning, much too cold for me to venture out on the Ninja. I can only hope the forecasters are wrong.

February 23-24, 2008

Forget the story for Saturday, well almost…smile. It started it off not so great, I arrived at the mission to find out a huge group had shown up that my volunteer coordinator had not been aware of, thus my services were not required, though welcome to stay I can’t stand big groups so on the road I went to run errands, chores etc before heading off to my second job at the shop.

I arrived at the shop in plenty of time to get settled and to start my calls. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and getting better by the minute! I could not believe I was working and not riding but so be it I need all the financial help I can get right now. After making my calls and getting mostly voicemail, on such a beautiful day I was not at all surprised I was to go finish up my 3+ hour walk when I realized it was much to warm for me to be walking in my long pants. I ran upstairs to see if by chance there might be a pair of shorts for me to buy and sure enough they had one pair left in my size! Bright Ducati red shorts with a tasteful emblem on the left side hip! I was so happy I can’t even express, though I had just worked two hours to pay for them, they were so cute and perfect for the rest of my walk. I didn’t even take them off just walked up to the counter and had one of the guys cut the tags off for me. Needless to say I had to call my mom and rub in the warm temperatures were experiencing, though I was still wearing my polar fleece top and my gloves, as soon as it gets over 50 I am a shorts girl all the way!

Before I get to far into Sunday I want to just say thank you to Arai again for coming through for me when my helmet busted. I also want to remind everyone that getting a new helmet even if yours “looks” ok is truly mandatory to be safe. I forget how much wear and tear 20-25,000 miles can put on a helmet until I put the new one and can feel the tight fit my old one no longer provides. A tight fit is truly necessary to protect you from damage, therefore I would suggest when in doubt just go to a local dealer and put a new helmet (same size and make) on your head and if you notice a huge difference in the fit buy a new helmet! Well that and the usual you should never wear a helmet longer then two years, one that has been dropped or hit the pavement, or one with any exterior damage to the shell. Moving right along.

Sunday I knew there was the possibility of rain in some areas, so when I looked at the map though I saw drizzle in the Olympia area it was significantly warmer then north so south it would be. I could not wait to get out the door I wanted to ride so bad and I had nothing holding me back from the moment I left the house just before six until my return at ten. I had some chores and errands to handle but nothing that would weigh down my mind too much to ride. So off I went down 405 south, too soon I noticed the signs saying I-5 was closed heading south and to detour on 167 so that decision was made for me, 167 it would be. Still to dark to see and my walkman not working I could just ride and be one with the bike.

Making my way though the stop and go outside of Tacoma, I debated riding all the way to Portland and back for no reason other then to ride, before I knew it I was just outside Olympia and the rain had started, guess I would not be going to Portland today as the temperatures had also dropped, cold and wet is no fun.

I pulled off to get gas and head east on 510 toward Yelm. Now the skies had lightened enough for me to switch out shields in hopes of truly needing the dark shield against the sun. I was now enjoying the smell of spring rain so different from the winter rains. I could not see the mountains but no worries here I had full view of all the mountains all day yesterday on my walk. I could only imagine the trees soon to be covered with blossoms and green leaves, in my heart I know it is too early to wish for spring but I can dream.

I saw horses and sheep and cows, making me grin inside my helmet; then once again humans failed me. I was heading east when I notice a man on the other side of the road, at a small intersection looking like a lost puppy next to an old Toyota pick-up with the hood up. It was not safe for me to pull over or turn, by the time I found a safe place to swing around not less then 30 cars/trucks must have passed this poor guy. I wasn’t sure what I could do but you all know me I needed to make sure he was ok he looked so sad. I pulled up, careful to keep the bike in gear and my gear on to be safe as I am a lone female and you just never know. I asked if I could help and he said he needed a jump, I replied I couldn’t help him there but did he have someone he could call, sure his brother so I got off the bike and let him use my cell phone. It was so funny to listen to the one side of the conversation; he said he was calling from a phone a girl on a Ducati had loaned him with such awe that it made me laugh. He made arrangements for his brother to come help him out, so in no time I was back on the bike, thinking about all the cars that had passed him by, on his side of the road, who most likely could have helped if not by loaning him a phone by providing a jump! Sorry folks but please remember kindness can be paid forward, and it doesn’t hurt you to stop and just make sure someone is ok wouldn’t you like the same?

Back on the road heading Northeast, I worked my way back to 167 and then braved Route 18 hopping the warm temperatures and sun of the last few days would make for dry roads up over the pass and even all the way into North Bend. Oh was I happy to find the skies though overcast were not spitting anything out and the roads were clear and dry. I cruised into North Bend then hooked up with 202 riding all the way to Snohomish and Route 2. By now I was so happy I didn’t want to stop riding but I was starting to get hungry and a little cold not to mention gas here is $3.67 a gallon, so money being as tight as it is I was wondering if a three tank ride was in my budget and couldn’t quite come to terms with it.

I headed south on 522 to 405 south, swinging into town to grab a few things at the store before making it home with a cool 215 in the saddle and such a high from the ride it would most likely keep me at least until next weekend if not a month or more!

Home again the stationary bike in full use as I tried desperately to warm up, then out the door I went for my walk and another strange encounter, well actually two. The first, a man and I were looking at each other as I passed the Tully’s parking lot, it was one of those can’t quite place him but he looks familiar. Turned out to be one other manager candidates we had interviewed at my office, we chatted briefly and he offered me a tea but this girl could not imagine no matter how cute and kind he was sitting inside with temperatures in the 50’s and the sun shining so brightly I had to lather on the sunscreen. Ah well maybe next time. Not 10 seconds later two dogs came running up the street toward me, a quick glance around and I realized no owner to be found so I quickly grabbed the Golden figuring the little dog would not go far if the first was stopped. A woman pulled up and asked if they were mine I said no, so she was kind enough to jump out of her truck to grab the little dog, easier said then done, she and the dog ended up in the middle of the busy road before she managed to grab it. I called the number listed on the Golden’s tag only to get a very out of it voice which concerned me but there was nothing I could do. Another couple pulled over as Rachel (the other woman) and I were waiting to ask if the dogs were ours, when we responded no but we had called the owner they were glad as they had been trying to find the dogs since seeing them three blocks over running free. When the owner arrived I was none to pleased about his behavior, especially when he yelled at the Golden to get in the truck, but the dogs looked well cared for so there was little if anything I could do.

As I left the scene, I was impressed that others had been as concerned as me about the dogs, and thought about the socio-economic status of the neighborhood I was in versus where the man in the truck was. I had read and heard on several occasions that the wealthiest and the poorest people in our nation were the ones who gave the most to charity, and here I was in a situation with the dogs in one of the wealthiest if no the wealthiest suburb of Seattle and low and behold everyone cared – note this is also the only area I walk in that everyone says hi and talks to me. Just earlier I had been in a middle class area, on a well traveled road and not one person cared that there was a stranded motorist! Interesting but certainly not full-proof experiment.

So an incredible ride, an awesome walk, clean house and a movie to watch when I got home, the winter blahs are fading fast.

February 16-17, 2008

Sun the sun is supposed to come out today and be out all weekend! Wow, now if the temperatures would just reflect the sense of spring the sun is going to bring. I rise as usual and get as much done as I can before heading out the door to a meeting, then a much longed for ride.

It is cold, much colder then I really like and though it is not raining here my area I know from the weather maps I might not be so lucky elsewhere. The maps had shown temperatures over 40 in most surrounding areas, so I decide to take back roads north as La Conner is calling to me.

I head out of Redmond toward Woodinville, enjoying the smooth feel of the bike and the smell of rain mixed with the ever so slight scent of new growth and spring. My mind is slowly emptying of all the nonsense of the week, but none too soon as my night terrors are always much worse when I am stressed. I think on the Snow Geese I saw flying in a group so large last week they looked to be a fluid cloud.

I think on the talk show I watched that spoke of fat vs thin people discrimination and it was all I could do not to yell at the tv; I get so aggravated when obese people say they are healthy when the doctors take tests and show them pre-diabetic, high blood pressure, etc. Then these same people create a website called Skinny Bitches are Evil! Oh my gosh, how horrible is that. Ok there I go off on a tangent, but the talk show host actually had the nerve to ask the skinny guest if she had ever had trouble getting a date because of her weight or a job- I know for a fact I have and I am not even that skinny- or not as skinny as the model she was questioning! And the complaints went on about not finding clothes that fit if you are heavy – my goodness I have spent many years now unable to find clothes that fit or having to shop in the teens section.

I remember the man who watched me in the grocery store desperately trying to reach the shampoo I needed from the top shelf. Did he offer to help, of course not – this is Seattle where chivalry is dead and are manners from what I can tell. By the time I had given up trying to reach it and turned to see if I could request help from him, he was rushing in the other direction down the aisle, did I get what I needed no of course not I was too short to reach.

I watched dumbfounded last week as talk show after talk show (I still am watching ridiculous tv while working out) went on and on about dating and match making etc. Belittling singles for not trying hard enough! How hard are we supposed to try! Or should I say how much harder could I try, not any I can tell you that, well other then post a wanted billboard up –mom don’t worry I know you would disown me.

Ok enough lamenting on the state of foolish talk shows, right now as I head north the clouds are getting thicker and I am thinking one more week of not getting any where near a decent ride in due to the rain and cold. I realize too late I have not geared up enough to brave the rain as I encounter it in Monroe. I change my plans and decide to try to head south in hopes that maybe I will have better luck. I am now on the freeway making good time, until I hit the rain in Renton, and give up, there doesn’t appear to be another dry spot around other then my local neighborhood.

I have been cheered even by the 100 miles, the vistas were wonderful low fog and mist, mixed with peaks of snow covered mountains and hill tops. The snow is still much to low for me to get to far east, and with the cost of ferries and tolls I can’t get over the peninsula though I have been craving fudge it would be over $10 a pound between the gas, ferry and/or tolls and I just can’t justify that when I am beginning to wonder even about my weekend popcorn which has risen in price from .55 a lb to .99 a lb!

As I head home I have noticed my brakes feel a little iffy so I head over to the shop just for them to give a feel. I pull in and David checks everything is fine he and I guess it is just a little water and grime getting stuck at some point, it has been too cold to wash the bikes so right now the dark looks more like gray and brown, but hey it is getting ridden. Herb comes out and asks about mileage when I tell him he says I am getting soft, and I have to agree the thought of 26 degrees and ice and snow does not interest me, and I can walk if I need down time, but my other self gets aggravated and I start to think on a ride for this spring or maybe several.

I just received my Border to Border to Border confirmation almost 2 years after I did the ride, so I am not enthused about running more IBA rides only to have to wait – I am still waiting for the certificate on my 50CC Gold from last year too. But the thought of many SS’s interests me and I debate one a weekend or even if I could do that both physically and financially.

Back from my ride and my chores the garage is significantly blocked by a huge pile